


You're so Vain (I bet you think this fic is about you)

by sksdwrld



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Multi, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:04:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksdwrld/pseuds/sksdwrld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco uses a time turner to give himself the best birthday present ever: himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're so Vain (I bet you think this fic is about you)

“Draco Malfoy, you are the world’s most selfish lover”

 

Malfoy looked up from his vanity where he had been examining the texture of his skin under bright lights. He could see his live-in boyfriend of four years, Harry Potter, standing behind him. He turned slowly. “What a horrible lie to tell someone on their birthday, Potter,” He brushed past him, allowing their cheeks the slightest touch as he did so. “You did remember it was my birthday, didn’t you?”

“Your twenty-sixth, and how could I forget, when you’ve reminded me every day for the last month?” Harry called as he rolled his eyes. He never would have thought it was possible, that Draco could become more self-absorbed than he was during their unceremonious youth at Hogwarts. But somehow, he had….more self-absorbed, and absolutely more flamboyant with each passing year.

Draco returned from their master-bathroom, spritzing himself with the same scent he’d worn for years, a custom scent that had a way of making him smell clean, and spicy and musky all at once. Every time Harry caught a whiff, it made his cock twitch as he remembered their first epic encounter outside of school, in a muggle bar downtown, of all places; the one that started with a characteristic sneer, and ended with himself face down in a tangle of black satin sheets, moaning ‘Malfoy,’.

“So,” Draco settled himself back down in front of the vanity with a sigh. “Did you get me anything to commemorate my over-the-hill status?” He sighed dramatically, then leaned forward to examine his perfectly porcelain skin. “Some wrinkle-cream maybe? A lengthy-erection potion, since I’m not an adequate lover?” He turned and pouted. “I can’t believe you said that to me, on my birthday!”

Harry sighed and moved forward, kneeling to embrace him around the waist and plant his head in Malfoy’s lap. “I didn’t say you were an inadequate lover, Draco. And for Merlin’s sake, if your erection lasted any longer, we’d be in bed for the entire day, instead of just half…” Malfoy stroked Harry’s soft brown waves. “I said you were selfish,”

“Well what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?” Draco snarled as he got up, Harry flopping to the floor as his lover sprawled on the bed. 

“It means,” Harry explained, pulling himself up to straddle Malfoy’s slender hips, his hands slipping under the black silk robe and running up his ribcage, “That most of the time you’re pulling my head into your lap, or putting your cock in to my arse, and I’m lucky to get a reach-around these days! And you haven’t let me fuck you in ages”

Draco rolled his eyes widely. “I thought you liked my cock…and we’ve had this discussion…I don’t care much for being bottomed,” He fussed with Harry’s hands, pushing them away.

“I do like it, I just wish you liked mine half as much as I like yours,” Harry stuffed his hands back inside Malfoy’s robe, stroking a bared nipple.

“Get off me Harry,” Malfoy pushed at him. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. I’m too depressed. Officially more than a quarter century…. Too old to pick up anyone in the muggle bars any more,”

Harry moved aside and let Draco up, where he continued to pace back and forth and rant about how disgustingly old and ugly he was becoming. “And you don’t even care!” he accused at the end.

“Of course I don’t care if you get old and ugly,” Harry replied. “I love you,”

“Oh Potter,” Malfoy sighed, sweeping next to him and throwing his arms around him. “For that I shall reward you with a kiss!”

Harry tried not to snort, and leaned to receive the peck on the lips Draco provided. “D’you want your present then?” he asked innocently, fishing a small flat box out of his pocket. The paper was somewhat crinkled, and there was no bow. 

Malfoy rolled his eyes as he accepted it. “You sure know how to make a boy feel special,”

“Shut up you ungrateful sot, just open it.”

Malfoy could not hide the look of confusion or distaste as he held up a tarnished pendant on a long chain. “What in Merlin’s name is this, and where did you get it, the thrift store?”

Harry took it back, cupping the pendant softly in one hand. “It’s a time-turner.”

“You’re shitting me….that thing is going to make me young again?”

“No, you git! Let me finish. It’s a time turner. Don’t you remember back at Hogwarts, when Hermione-“

“No, you daft imbecile. I wasn’t friends with you then, remember?” Malfoy interrupted impatiently.

Harry sighed and started again. “When McGongall passed away, she left this turner to Hermione because she trusted her with it. This is something very special, and wasn’t supposed to fall into the wrong hands,”

“So how’d you get it?” Draco scoffed.

“I’m getting to that….I’ve been begging Hermione to let me borrow this for months, and she wouldn’t let me. So when I was having tea with her the other day, I….I lifted it,”

“Harry Potter, the world’s most honorable Gryffindor, stole an old lady’s necklace from his bestie? Oh, that’s rich,” Draco chortled.

“Shush! Now, the reason I wanted you to have this, at least for one day, is because, well….do you remember how you’re always saying that if there was a way you could clone yourself, you would be the most perfect mate you could ever wish for?”

Draco lifted a brow and nodded. 

“Well, this is about as close as you’re going to get. You can twist this to go back in time, and visit yourself. You can’t do anything to alter the past, mind you. It’s against the rules. So I’ll make sure if you go somewhere, I’ll be with you,”

Draco’s eyes grew wide. “You’re not serious, Potter….with this thing, I can go back in time, and…have sex with myself?”

Harry shrugged. “It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it? I try to give my baby everything he wants,”

“Oh Harry!” Draco threw himself at Harry and planted a wet kiss on the side of his face. “Give it to me!”

“Somehow, this wasn’t the context I was hoping you’d say that to me,” he mumbled, holding the pendant out of reach. “You really want yourself seeing yourself….like that?” He gestured with his free hand at Malfoy’s state of undress.” There was nothing wrong with it to Harry, Malfoy looked terrific to him. But he knew his words would stall his lover long enough that he could explain more to him. Malfoy looked down, then scrambled off the bed. 

“You’re right. I should make myself presentable,”

Harry tucked the turner back into his pocket, and settled back on the bed to watch his lover undress, then redress. “What do you think?” Draco said, modeling a pair of fitted trousers and a tight, black, v-necked shirt. Harry crossed to him and buried his face in the other boy’s neck.

“I think I want you, Draco Malfoy,”

Draco fussed him away again. “Don’t you even think about it, Potter. I have to be ready for…erm, myself,” He cracked a grin.

 

“Well speak of the devil,” another voice came from the door way. They both looked to see who it was, and two jaws dropped to see another Draco propped against the door frame, this one in the same trousers, but a white button-up shirt. 

“Did you-“ the Draco next to Potter looked confused and gestured with his hands, “Do the turny-thingy?”

Harry held up his hands. “Not me,”

 

“Oh, shut up and kiss me,” The Malfoy in the door frame crossed to them, ignoring Harry and seizing his other self.

Harry backed away, awkwardly. “You two boys leave me out of this. I’ll be in the living room,”

 

When the kiss broke, Draco in the black shirt pulled back to assess the Draco in the white shirt. His eyes glittered with amusement. “Well, this is interesting, if not somewhat confusing. What happens when we take our clothes off?”

“Well, if you’re looking for a name to scream,” the other winked. “I’ll be Draco and you be Malfoy,”

The first frowned. “Why do you get to be Draco?”

“Because I am Draco. Besides, I claimed it first,”

Malfoy laughed. “Yes, that is something I would say, isn’t it?”

Draco rolled his eyes. “You are a bit more daft than I realized,”

Four hands moved to the white shirt and began to unbutton it simultaneously, scrabbling over one another. “My, my, I am a sexy beast, aren’t I?” Malfoy mumbled with a grin, running his hands first over the other Draco’s chest and hips, then his own. He yanked his shirt over his head, and the both of them dropped trou and tumbled onto the bed.

 

It was a tangle of lithe limbs, writhing and rolling on the satin sheets, of long groping fingers, and slender bodies pressed together. There was a series of small sighs, undeterminable which came from which boy, as they sucked at one another’s mouths hungrily, handling each other with equal roughness. 

Draco rubbed their cocks together, then seized them with both hands, stroking them both at once. Malfoy groaned and pulled the other boy against him again.

It wasn’t long, though before he was putting on the brakes. “Alright, stop, stop. Don’t do that,”

“What?”

“That finger-thing, with my bum. I don’t like it,”

“But I always do that,” Draco argued. “Potter likes it,”

“But I don’t,”

“Roll over so I can fuck you,” Draco commanded.

“Uh-unh. I don’t do that either. You roll over so I can fuck you,”

“Hmmmm, I can see this isn’t going to work out well seeing as how I don’t do that either,”

“You’re awfully selfish, Draco,” Malfoy said, pushing him back. Then his mouth dropped open. “Potter! That bastard!”

“Yes…..Potter,” Draco mused, grinning and jerking his head toward the door. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

 

 

Harry was sitting in the middle of the couch with his arms propped behind him, as he watched a game of quidditch on the tele. He had a cup of hot tea on the table beside him, and a folded paper in his lap. If he was lucky, Malfoy would keep himself busy all afternoon, and he could enjoy a day to himself, without all the drama of his nagging, over-the top boyfriend.

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind, than were his arms seized and he was dragged up and over the back of the couch. Two leering Malfoy faced hovered over him. “Oh no!” He flailed. “I said to leave me out of this! You boys have plenty to do by yourselves!”

“You brought this on yourself, Harry,” Draco smiled.

“Yes, Potter. In fact, I think this was your plan all along,” Malfoy dragged him along back to the bedroom.

Between the two of them, they had Harry stripped down in no time. Harry was still protesting, and they began jostling him back and forth playfully, turning him around and around.

“Alright, alright, enough!” Harry clutched at one of them, he couldn’t tell which was which. “You’re making me dizzy!”

“Heads I win, tails you lose,” The Malfoy before him smiled. 

“This must be your dream come true, Potter,” Draco’s arms embraced him from behind, and he sucked the back of his lover’s neck softly. Harry groaned lowly, and actually felt his knees weaken when Malfoy lowered his head to lick his collarbone slyly. Hands were swirling over his body in a random pattern, caressing, pinching, stroking.

“Oh, god, yes…..” Harry moaned into someone’s mouth. The two boys smirked at one another, and nodded. Two pairs of hands pushed Harry to his knees and identical cocks were bumping him from in front and behind. Harry sized the hips in front of him and lowered his mouth onto the throbbing organ that jutted before him. Almost at once, he felt two slick fingers push into him from behind. They probed and stretched for but a minute, before being replaced with another pulsing dick. It inched in slowly, and three boys groaned in unison.

Harry was speared fore and aft, and the two boys who capped him, leaned over his body to kiss one another. Harry was rocking his whole body back and forth, trying to accommodate two staggered rhythms of his lovers. He felt a hand snake down from behind him and wrap around his own erection, stroking in tune to the thrusts. Harry’s orgasm built at an alarming rate, and then he was shuddering and crying out. Draco finished then too, feeling Harry’s hot walls clamp around him. He pushed into him, then reached under Harry’s arms, suspending him from behind so that Malfoy in front could pound into his mouth.

When Malfoy finished, the three of them collapsed in a sweaty, gasping heap. Harry groaned when Draco slipped out of him, but said nothing else. Malfoy smirked at his pseudo-twin.

“You sexy devil,” Draco smiled and caressed his face. “Yes, Harry, this was a great birthday present,”

Harry grunted softly and didn’t respond.

Malfoy frowned. “Was? I could go again,”

Draco laughed breathlessly. “I’ve been fucking all day, mate. Potter has sucked me dry. I don’t think I have an ounce left to spare…should have given us a lengthy-erection potion after all…” 

Malfoy’s face shifted into a pout. “Well it’s no fun to do him alone,”

“Oh thanks, I love you too,” scowled Harry. “I think I met my wizard-boffing quota of the day anyhow,”

“I’d be happy to hold him down for you if you wanted to have another go,” Draco offered, slipping his arms tightly around Harry’s torso before he could escape.

“That works for me,” Another devilish grin played over Malfoy’s features, “I’m so good to me, Potter,” he gently stroked Harry’s face, then turned it to force him to look at him. “Don’t you think?”

Harry grunted. “Wonderful,” When Malfoy got that look on his face, Harry knew he was slipping into his kink, the old dreadful Malfoy of yesteryears. The one who liked to hurt him, at any cost.

When Draco hauled him onto the bed, he began to struggle lightly. “D’you think you can give me a break for a moment? My arse still hurts from the way you pounded me 10 minutes ago!”

Malfoy stood at the end of the bed, watching Draco wrestle him into position. He finally had the boy secured with his arms behind his back, chest heaving. Draco grinned from behind him, then kissed the top of his head. “You’re going to love this, Potter, I promise,”

He scowled again. “Tell me why I’m with you again?”

“I’ll tell you why,” Malfoy slipped onto the bed and crawled toward him predatorily. “You can’t get enough of my cock,” His kissed Harry roughly, then shoved his knees upward toward his chest.

“Frankly, I can’t blame him,” Draco purred from behind. “It is a marvelous cock,”

“Oh….fuck! Draco!” Harry cried when Malfoy pushed into him.

“You like that, hunh baby?” Malfoy seized a handful of his hair and yanked roughly. Truth be told, Harry didn’t like being folded in half and sandwiched between two men while they abused him, pushing him way over the line that walked between pain and pleasure. But Malfoy had always liked it rough, sometimes very rough. This time when he finished, Harry was covered with small bite marks, little purple welts, and a few red scratches.

“Oh Harry,” Malfoy buried his face in Potter’s shoulder, and when Draco released his arms, Harry reached around and held Malfoy to him tightly. “Harry, are you alright? I’m sorry, I got carried away, I didn’t mean to hurt you,”

Harry smoothed the boy’s blond locks and kissed his forehead. “Yes, I’m alright, you bastard,” He pushed his hard-on against Malfoy’s thigh. 

Draco petted him gently. “I told you that you were going to enjoy it,”

 

Harry dozed in a tangle of sheets while his lovers romped in the shower together. He could hear them laughing and squealing over the sound of the spray. Only one Draco emerged from the bathroom though, drying his hair with a fluffy black towel. His eyes glittered as he looked over Harry, lying there.

“Wake up, Lazy. I’m hungry. Let’s go out to dinner for my birthday,”

Harry groaned. “Aren’t you tired? I know I am,”

Malfoy rolled his eyes. “We can sleep when we’re dead! You don’t want to take me out and show everyone how fabulous I am, after all these years?”

“Everyone knows how fabulous you are, Draco.” He said, pulling the sheet over his head.

Malfoy smiled to himself, then reached for his wand on the dresser. He spelled the sheet off of him, and commanded Harry into the shower. Harry groaned, but began to ready himself. Malfoy drew on his black trousers, then began rifling through his closet. He hadn’t seen that white shirt in ages, and come to think of it, it would be perfect to wear to dinner tonight.

“Toss me my pants, would you?!” Harry called from the bathroom. Draco moved to accommodate the request, and as he did so, a thin gold chain hooked around his fingers. He lifted the pendant in the air to examine it as he leaned against the door jam, then twirled it between his fingers.

“How does this thing work anyway?” He said loudly, just before his surroundings began to blur and rush past him. 

When the scenery came to a halt, and he realized where he was, he could only grin to himself. Happy Birthday, Draco.

“Well, Speak of the devil!”


End file.
